I met Noel Hidalgo (again) the other night at Digital Democracy’s NetSquared voting party at the Sunburnt Cow last Wednesday, and he enlightened me to the existence of many more co-working spots in NYC than I had previously known. A full (wiki!) list here.
Noel is the founder of Co-Working Brooklyn at The Change You Want To See gallery, along with Beka Economopoulos, among other things….
In exchange for this gift of new information, I shared a story with Noel that I first heard in a 10-day meditation retreat in Illinois:
One day, a very angry Brahmin came to the temple, intent on hurling insults and slander on Gautama the Buddha. As a Brahmin who had built up a religious cult of his own, his livelihood was under threat from the teachings of the Buddha, which were becoming more and more widely accepted in the land.
When this Brahmin arrived, he spewed all manner of insults at the Buddha. The Buddha just sat there. When there was finally a quiet moment, the Buddha asked, calmly, “Tell me, sir. There must be many people who come to your house to pay their respects. Is that true?”
“Yes, of course it’s true. I’m very highly regarded,” the vitriolic Brahmin replied.
“And often times they bring you gifts, isn’t that true?”
“Yes, supplicants almost always bring me gifts.”
“When a supplicant brings you a gift you have no desire for, do you accept it?”
“No,” the Brahmin replied. “I don’t have to accept it. Either I toss it in the rubbish heap or it stays with them.”
“Well,” the Buddha replied, “you have brought me this gift of your harsh and slanderous words, but I do not want them. So there, all of your anger, your hatred, your ill will – I will not accept it. And so it stays with you.”
I love this story because it comes in especially handy for those of us in fields that are remotely political, as we have to deal with vitriolic, irrational, or frustrated individuals relatively often. And more often than not, the harsh words and vitriol are coming from the very people we call allies and colleagues.
I remember this story often and try to do the same – realize that reciprocating anger and frustration is a choice. I can choose not to be angry – this also means, however, that I cannot blame someone else for making me angry.
And all that responsibility can feel like a significant burden. But it can also be quite liberating.